Tuesday, Sep 9, 2008

De balance of two years France

Recently someone asked me via e-mail the question: "How long did it take before you to got used? And do you miss the Netherlands?" I think this goes to the heart of the ambigous conflict in which many emigrants are : stay in your familiar surroundings in the Netherlands or the uncertain leap to a possibly better life in another country.

When asked whether you'll get used to it, I can immediately answer: probably yes, but you will always remain like a Dutch poplar in the French countryside. That does not hurt, but it is a fact with which you can learn to live.

Our life in France: a walk on the other side of the river on the first real summer day of year, on June 18, 2008 to be exact.

Also interesting to note that almost half of the immigrants (natives and immigrants) return to the Netherlands within ten years. Mostly because the finances were not sufficient to continue to stay. But I can also imagine that nostalgia plays a role. On www.wereldexpat.nl/nl/terugnaarNL/voorbereiding (dutch text) there is much information about this topic.

The second question (miss Netherlands) is more complicated and personal. Research has shown that most immigrants are not driven by hatred of the Netherlands, but by the need for a better life. I do not understand, because if you do not dislike leaves the Netherlands, then why. Well, maybe it's possible that you are driven by nothing but positive feelings, such as: "I have a wonderful life in the Netherlands, but in France I have more career opportunities ...". Hmm. Sounds suspicious. Another example: "The Netherlands' a fine country, if it weren'nt for the Dutch that live there ...". Whoa, who said that again? Or: "Unfortunately the retirement home overlooking the highway is full, otherwise I would never have moved to my southern French farmhouse with pool in the Cevennes moved". Anyway, the Netherlands is undoubtedly 'n wonderful land, but it had many disadvantages that we no longer saw the benefits.

Our life in France: a piece of our home in the evening sun.

Now, just over two years ago (the night of 7 to 8 July 2006) we arrived at our apartment in Espalion. It was four o'clock at night, hot and the children were awake. So began our life in France. The first months were chaotic and uncertain. We lived in an apartment full of boxes and furniture, the only friend we had was the neighbor, we spoke the language well in Espalion and nobody understood what we were doing.

Our life in France: View from the bathroom window

Three months later, in October, we were in our house but I did not feel like it anymore. I missed my friends and I missed the life that I had so long resisted. I only had two concerns: the money that flew away like water and the children. The prolonged visit of an as mainstay disguised 'friend' and more visits in the euphoria of the moment that weren' not always tactical, made the stay here often unpleasant. I did not want to stay and I would not return to the Netherlands. My dream was disappointing.

Maar sindsdien is er veel veranderd. Toen we onze plannen voor emigratie bekendmaakten kregen we vaak de vraag: “… en als ’t nou mislukt, kom je dan terug naar Nederland?” Nou is mislukken best moeilijk voor ons, we zijn immers geen camping begonnen, geen restaurant en geen forellenkwekerij. We hebben ons werk meegenomen naar Frankrijk en daarin is weinig veranderd, behalve dan dat ik geen les meer geef. Maar de verhuizing en verbouwing hebben gaten geslagen in onze reserves en de kosten voor levensonderhoud liggen in Frankrijk veel hoger dan in Nederland. Dat maakt het leven hier best moeilijk ja. Maar we zwemmen nog steeds en dat doen we liever hier dan in Nederland.

But since then much has changed. When we announced our plans for emigration, we were often asked: "... and if it all fails, will you come back to the Netherlands?" Well failure is difficult for us, we did not start a camping, no restaurant and no trout farm. We have taken our work along with us to France and it has changed little, except that I no longer give lessons. But the relocation and renovation have beaten holes in our reserves and the cost of living is much higher in France than in the Netherlands. That makes life pretty hard here, yes. But we still swim and we do it here rather than in the Netherlands.

If I ever went back to the Netherlands than it was because I wanted to pay less tax or because I wanted to commit euthanasia (prohibited in France) or because I was gay and wanted to marry or with Ruud ... and now there is' n silence. I look at Ruud: "you know something?" Ruud looks at me: "ben non ...". See, that's what I mean.

Our life in France: Ruud and I in the Château Colombier, a magnificent chateau and parc animalier 30 km away from here.

Sure, there are reasons why we should want out of here, but there are many others that bind us to France. The tolerance of the people, for example. Or the climate. Or the feeling of space in and around the house. Or that every day we can eat outside. Or the owl in the backyard. Of the children who have French friends in the playground and at school. Or the French with whom we can get around very well. And then all those things one cannot not put into words.

Our life in France: Me and my best friend at the marché nocturne (night market) in Espalion

There is surely a world that is better than this, where people are nicer, the sky bluer and the grass greener, but we will not go there becausethe paradise, thats where you go after you have died, is it not?

(Listen to the song: "On ira tous au paradis" by Michel Polnareff)

David Byrne has already sung about it: heaven is a place where nothing ever happens and that's it, because setbacks are part of thy life, even for those who thought to live like Gods in France.

Our Life In France: Visiting Salles la Source on May 1, Virgin and Child statue

Double Poll: Netherlands good vs bad
good about Netherlands
Selection		Votes
the people	11%	19
the beautiful skies	21%	37
it's so multicultural	12%	21
terraces in the summer	23%	40
Sinterklaas(Christmas Eve)	19%	34
marry a gay or lesbian	14%	24
175 votes total
bad about Netherlands
Selection		Votes
no nature	6%	10
the crowds	44%	77
crime	6%	11
the rising water	1%	2
politics	13%	23
the degradation	29%	51
174 votes total
(endresult on 19-2-2012)

posted by Maartje Heymans at 23:33  |  send a comment

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